This free verse little diddy came together last night after having spent the entire two weeks of the holiday break with a toddler who likes to tell adults "Stop!" and feels the need to let everyone know that most things in the universe are "Mine!". She kind of grows on you after awhile, and I will miss our lazy days together once school starts back up.
During this particular inspirational event, she was feeding popcorn to her babies and then eating it herself. (I know, popcorn for a toddler, not good, but I rescinded my Mother-of-the-Year nomination a long time ago. I think it was the day Harmony put a penny in her mouth, fell of the bed, and had fire-engine red diaper rash. (Even thinking about that day brings back waves of Mom Guilt. (Can you put parentheses within parentheses? (Well, I guess I just did. (It's kind of fun. (You should try it sometime. (OK, stop. (You're being obnoxious!)))))))
So for young moms everywhere, I submit to you "In the Last Two Years"
In the last two years someone less than half our size has taken up more than half our living space.
In the last two years milk, juice, or urine has been spilled or peed on almost every flat surface in our apartment.
In the last two years we have watched 101 Dalmatians 101 times.
In the last two years I have seen poop in literally every color of the rainbow.
In the last two years I have learned what RSV, impetigo, and nipple shields are.
In the last two years I have memorized the PBS Kids morning line up (DragonTales, Martha Speaks, Curious George, Sid the Science Kid, and Super Why) along with each show's respective theme song.
In the last two years I have learned not only what vomit looks like and smells like, but I now know exactly what it sounds like as it's projected from a little mouth unto your chest.
In the last two years we have take more pictures, sung more songs, and read more board books than I thought humanly possible.
During this particular inspirational event, she was feeding popcorn to her babies and then eating it herself. (I know, popcorn for a toddler, not good, but I rescinded my Mother-of-the-Year nomination a long time ago. I think it was the day Harmony put a penny in her mouth, fell of the bed, and had fire-engine red diaper rash. (Even thinking about that day brings back waves of Mom Guilt. (Can you put parentheses within parentheses? (Well, I guess I just did. (It's kind of fun. (You should try it sometime. (OK, stop. (You're being obnoxious!)))))))
So for young moms everywhere, I submit to you "In the Last Two Years"
In the last two years someone less than half our size has taken up more than half our living space.
In the last two years milk, juice, or urine has been spilled or peed on almost every flat surface in our apartment.
In the last two years we have watched 101 Dalmatians 101 times.
In the last two years I have seen poop in literally every color of the rainbow.
In the last two years I have learned what RSV, impetigo, and nipple shields are.
In the last two years I have memorized the PBS Kids morning line up (DragonTales, Martha Speaks, Curious George, Sid the Science Kid, and Super Why) along with each show's respective theme song.
In the last two years I have learned not only what vomit looks like and smells like, but I now know exactly what it sounds like as it's projected from a little mouth unto your chest.
In the last two years we have take more pictures, sung more songs, and read more board books than I thought humanly possible.
In the last two years I have learned to speak a new language: water, milk, and blanket are now wawer, nook, and bee.
In the last two years we have lost hours, maybe even days, of sleep, we have lost much money, and we have lost all privacy.
And every night for the last two years, all I can say when the day is done is "Thank you."
2 comments:
This made me smile! It is so true, and very well put ;)
I am saying "thank you God, school is starting tomorrow"
(and i like your parenthesis thing)
Misty
Your parentheses pretty much drive an English teacher to drink. Not that we need any excuses......
Some answers for you, oh young mama.....
1. Why do they call it Little Tykes when they take up half the room?
2. You thought grandma was crazy covering everything with plastic. There you have it....
3. 101 Dalmatians is better than Hannah Montana. Oh, your fun is just beginning.
4. Poop after eating the rainbow colored goldfish is priceless. Especially when you aren't sure if your child is dying from internal bleeding since the poop is a deep maroon color.
5. Nipple shields. No advice, just like saying those words.
And we thought all our years of teaching and working with kids would make parenting a breeze. To this I say, "Baaaahhhhaaahaaahaaa."
Doesn't God have a wonderful sense of humor?
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